This isn’t something I’m accustomed to. Lately, every time I go anywhere I’m a witness to arguments, screams of happiness, or idle chatter. I don’t usually wish for some peace and quiet, but that seems to be all I hope for lately. My version of silence used to be a mellow, instrumental music track that would soothe my nerves and be a slight distraction or background noise while I was reading or working. But as I’ve been so stressed out lately, I’ve even turned off my music and just lay in bed, cuddled up with my pup.
It’s hard for me to go more than a few hours in complete silence, though, as my brain doesn’t shut off for long periods of time unless I’m sleeping. This President’s Day, I found myself with a splitting headache and hardly any motivation to do anything but walk to the couch and fall into it. I didn’t even turn on my tv, that’s how bad my headache was.
For those who know me, that’s a pretty big deal.
I spent the next hour or so just lying there, eyes closed, and only the sound of my pup breathing could be heard. I gave myself a few true moments of relaxation, something I haven’t been able to do in quite some time. Eventually the moment ended as my pup decided he wanted to play. He rubbed his cold, wet nose all over my face, and when that wasn’t enough to get me up, he jumped up on top of me and pawed at my chest. This wouldn’t be a big deal if he wasn’t a 70+ pound Shiloh Shepherd puppy.
I dragged myself off the couch, gave my head some time to adjust, and grabbed one of his toys off the other couch. He saw his toy and started running around like my apartment was a Nascar track or something. Our game of fetch came to a quick stop when he decided that wrestling was a much better game to play. We rolled around for a few minutes, and when I found myself back on the couch, I realized something.
I was more relaxed now than when everything was silent and I was resting.
There are many ways to define silence. To some, it could be dead quiet with only your thoughts keeping you company, but to me, it’s when my thoughts are quiet. When my mind isn’t constantly worrying and over-analyzing all aspects of my life, I feel like the world has gone quiet. And I could use more days filled with quiet thoughts.